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Cult Classic
It was a murky day in Atlantis, and I was working on some paperwork when a mermaid, who had scales up to here, came into my office. She told me her name was Brook Marlin, and she wanted me to help her get into get into the cult of the Philosopher’s Stone. But the cult wouldn't let her in because it's current leader, Prince Rasputin Cultmaster, was very "traditional" and didn't want any non-Humans in the cult. Plus, the high-level cult members use the Philosopher’s Stone to live long and prosper, so Rasputin wasn't going to die of old age any time soon, meaning that it would be impossible for Brook to get into that cult (at least, without my help). I accepted her mission, and I went to the Lune Memorial Bar to find someone who might know something about the cult. As I walked into the bar, I saw a Cat Moth lady tearing someone's leg off. She said her name was Safe T. Fresh, and she informed me that the cult is in a bad neighborhood on the dark side of the Moon. I took a boat to Mothamerica and from there took a plane to the dark side of the Moon. On the plane, I sat next to a very ugly man, who fell asleep on my shoulder. I reached for my iPad to look up information about the cult, but it wasn't there. Then I looked up and the ugly man was running down the aisle of the plane with my iPad. I grabbed one of the complimentary in-flight crossbows, but then realized I've never used a crossbow before, so I tackled him with my pocket sword (...also known as a knife), and he revealed that he was an agent of the cult of the Philosopher’s Stone. The ugly man had sabotaged the plane so that it would crash in a Lunar ocean, intending to kill me, but I can breathe underwater since I'm a Gnome. Checking my iPad, I found that all my data had been erased, so I emailed Safe T. Fresh to send me all the information about the cult. I swam to shore, where I was met by Prince Rasputin Cultmaster himself, holding a gun to my forehead. Raspution suspiciously denied that anything Fresh had told me was true, saying she was just lying about where the real cult base was. At gunpoint, I was forced into a tiny space pod and launched back to Earth. I crashed in an ocean and swam to a shore for the second time that day. I was going to go back to the Moon to kill Prince Rasputin Cultmaster, but the next day I read in the newspaper that Captain Queen had asked Topaz Rockfall to to kill him anyway... for political reasons. After all, when you've got a person who likes burning people, and people who need to be burned, it's a pretty easy deal to work out. In the end, a more open-minded cultist named Memory Moonfall became the new leader, accepting Brook as the first mermaid in the cult.